Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Review: Hidden Camera

Read 10/5/11 - 10/12/11
4 Stars - Strongly Recommended
Pgs: 217
Publisher: Dalkey Archive

Every once and awhile, I stumble across a blog post or lit magazine article listing "the best books you're not reading".  I discovered Hidden Camera by just such a list, though you'll have to forgive me for not remembering who wrote it and where I read it.

How this book flew so far under my radar for so long (it was originally published back in 2003, and rereleased in 2005) is beyond me, since it's right up my alley in terms of writing style.

This cerebral novel takes place over the course of just one evening - beginning when our rather bland, home-bodied narrator returns home from his job as an undertaker and carrying him through the night from one strange destination to another. This creepy scavenger hunt of sorts starts when our narrator finds an unmarked, unaddressed envelope stuffed into his door, requesting his presence at the Film Archive for an unnamed showing that takes place within the hour. Curious, after spending much of that hour mentally deconstructing the intent of the mysterious envelope and it's even more mysterious origins - our narrator heads out on foot to see what it's all about.

Upon his arrival, he discovers only one other person in the theatre, a woman whose face is obscured by a rather large brimmed hat. And the show they came to watch? Why, it's a movie of him sitting on a park bench during his lunch hour, reading a book, completely unaware that his is the subject of a hidden camera.

Once the film ends and the house lights come back on, in a state of confusion and mortification, he realizes that the woman is no longer seated beside him. In fact, she is no longer in the theatre. Baffling as that is, he is even more baffled upon noticing another unmarked envelope that sits on his lap inviting him to a second hand bookshop across town in less than an hour, and he suddenly becomes convinced that the hidden cameras are still rolling.

And so our narrator begins the seemingly endless and increasingly curious journey from bookshop, to zoo, to underground elevator, to a church and it's odd tombstones, all at the silent request of two strangers..... and all  because he refuses to lose face and walk away from the opportunity to redeem himself in the eye of the camera, and in the hopes of encountering the woman in the large brimmed hat again.

This book is one incredibly amazing mind-fuck. Taking place almost completely within the mind of our undertaker, we experience everything in much the same way he does. There is very little conversation at all; in fact, our narrator takes extreme measures NOT to talk to anyone as he heads from one place to the next.

Is he going nuts, you wonder? Can this shit really be happening? Has he died, perhaps, and this is some freaky ass purgatory - which would be hilarious since he informs us that he doesn't see a link between death (something he is intensely close with) and birth (something he has no experience with, disregarding his own, which he cannot recall)? Or a dream? Yes, it must be a dream, right?!

The writing is wonderful; reminiscent of my favorite author, Jose Saramago, similar to him in the way he weaves an entire story out of one small, trivial thing.... In this case, an envelope tucked into a doorjam. Had the undertaker chosen to throw it away, like so much unwanted advertisements and junk mail, the story would have ended before it even began. It's the ease at which Zoran Zivkovic tells us the story, the pace at which it unravels itself, the subtle tension that eats away at your insides.. he hooks you before you even realize you took the bait.

Reader, beware.... look no further lest ye wish to be spoiled.....


You have been warned!





I have my theories. Knowing that our narrator is an undertaker and that he has strong beliefs - due to his line of work - that there is nothing after death, I found myself beginning to view the two strangers as ghosts before I was even aware of it. They seemed to know his every move, they seemed to anticipate what he would do next, and where he would end up. They are capable of moving silently, quickly, of setting up and breaking down "sets" without being seen or heard. They create impossible scenarios for our narrator, and yet they are possible because he is experiencing them. It just seemed otherworldly to me. In this light, it felt quite like a Christmas Carol, simply substitute Mr. Scrooge and his crappy attitude towards the human race and replace him with our narrator and his failure to see that there is activity after death. I saw these two strangers as the ghosts that show our narrator the error of his ways... instead of whisking him away from location to location, they tease him with envelopes and get him to go of his own accord, bait him with his own curiosity and polite manners.

Then I began viewing our narrator as the ghost. Perhaps he had died at work, and his spirit returned home to find the envelope - in a Sixth Sense kind of "I don't know I'm dead and I continue to believe I am still living" sort of way. The envelope then being a way to tether his spirit and force him to perform tasks, and come to terms with his own death, in order to cross over to the  land of the dead. The woman in the large brimmed hat then being his spirit guide, a living person who was helping him cross over. And still, this sticks to my theory of him being shown that there is activity after death, since he is the ghost, the one with post-death experiences....

The ending was quite ambiguous and though that usually bothers me, for this book I was ok with it. Because while it doesn't tell you exactly what the heck was going on all night, it certainly makes me feel like what I thought was happening, one or the other of my theories, is still a possibility.

Have you read this? I would love to find out what you think of it, and what you took from it.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Scranton's "Pages and Places" Book Expo

I always enjoy killing my one weekend day off in a blur of bookish things. Usually, I'm heading out to Bethlehem every other month for their big library basement sale, or Allentown for the Fall AAUW book sale. It's not often that truly big book events find their way out by my neck of the woods.

I've known about the Scranton "Pages and Places" Book Expo since last year - though its first appearance was the year before that - but at the time I just didn't feel the draw. This year, however, I thought I would take the 30 minute drive out there and take a peek.

Were there Pages? Yes. Yes there were. An average amount of books - both fiction and non-fiction - mostly about local events and history, by local authors it would seem.

Were there Places? Uhm... sure. Ok. You could say that places were brought to you, I suppose. But you really didn't go places, unless you count crossing the street as "going places"...

Was it truly a Book Expo? Sadly, I didn't think so. It was an incredibly small event. I wish I could say it was small in a cozy way, but really, it wasn't. Only a handful of publishers were on display outside - Harper Collins being the only one I'd even heard of - though perhaps that had something to do with the weather? It was chilly and gray and the clouds were moments away from drenching the handful of passerby's meandering in the square. And I know that Harper has a warehouse somewhere in the belly of Scranton so it was really only a hop, skip, and jump from the expo to their front door.

I wish it had been more like the Brooklyn Book Festival... with hundreds of vendors, and endless free panels to attend featuring larger named authors. Perhaps they are building up to that? Sloooooowly?

The Book Expo also boasted a Civil War street fair, sure to entertain the entire family with things like face painting, sidewalk chalk art, and activities for the little ones. There was a guy juggling balls, and some ladies dressed up in period costumes, and a blanket laid out in the grass with the instruments, games, and utensils they used back during the war. While I thought it was meh at best, my little guy found a way to kill some time by drawing Spongebob and Patrick, snubbing all of the other arts and crafts they had on offer.

The highlight of the entire event was sneaking across the street to the Northern Light Expresso Bar, snagging a hot drink, and meeting Laura Ellen Scott - author of the newly released Death Wishing! We had been talking about "Pages and Places" on Twitter the night before and exchanged numbers, and I was very much looking forward to chatting with her about her book, and the website she created as an extension of the novel, Wish Tank (if you scroll down to wish #12, you'll see mine!!!) .

She was extremely warm and wonderful, and gave me some insight into how and why she wrote the book. We also discussed the workshops she teaches, and Stephen King, and Steve Himmer... and she replaced my arc copy of her novel with the published paperback and signed it for me.

When Laura headed out to one of the expo's ticketed workshops, I decided to split. And not a moment too soon, either. As I was driving out of Scranton, big fat raindrops began spattering across my windshield.

Do I think I would go back to Scranton's "Pages and Places" Book Expo next year? Most likely not. Though I could be persuaded to return if there was another opportunity to hang out with an author or two.... it is just around the corner, after all.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Review: Memoirs of a Violent Sleeper

Read 9/28/11 - 10/5/11
2 Stars - Not Recommended as an intro to indie lit genre
Pgs: 245

As most of you are aware, there are countless perks to being a book blogger. We get to meet authors and publishers, get invites to book events and expo's, and are in the unique position of having books pitched to us for review.

When we choose to accept those books, it is done carefully, with consideration of the genre and the anticipation that the book will be a good fit personally and for our blog.

It's never easy to write a review that is less than glowing, and even more difficult to do so when you have had contact with the author. Just knowing they will be reading this would be enough to make a blogger hesitate.
(Stop.... back away from the computer... slowly... slowly...)
(Maybe if I remove the book from my goodreads "currently reading" shelf, they'll never know I started it...)
(Maybe they'll forget they sent it to me, and won't remember to follow up on its status...)

This book, Memoirs of a Violent Sleeper, was pitched to me - and accepted - before I had gotten to know the author, so I feel that the book deserves a review, and hope that its author can find some constructive feedback to take back with him as he works on upcoming projects. Matt is a cool dude, and has an incredibly creative mind. He cranks out short stories like nobody's business. You may have seen the one we posted last month for our Tell Me a Story Feature? I owe him my honesty... and heck, doesn't everyone...?

Memoirs premise is what caught my attention, initially. It's about a guy who was diagnosed with a violent sleep disorder at a young age and how, as the years pass, he has allowed this disorder to define him as a person - withholding love from his family, friends, and much to his dismay, any women he may become romantically attached to out of fear of the illness. As you can imagine, there is much emotional turmoil, which manifests itself through drug and alcohol use and an unhealthy hunger for prostitutes.

The main character, Steven, is really hung up on himself - in a "I have this horrible affliction, no one understands me, woe-is-me" kind of way - and has this "fuck you" attitude about everything, until he falls head over heels for the gothy coffee girl that works with him. 

And the story itself was interesting. It has a tremendous amount of stuff going for it. Unfortunately, the writing and poor editing made it difficult to remain invested in it as a reader. Keep in mind, I do not usually let things like misplaced commas ruin a good read for me. God knows I need all the help I can get with my own grammar. But in this case, the entire book was plagued with odd phrasing and use of tense, along with willy-nilly comma placement.

Ex: Holding my, now empty, mug, asking, begging to be replenished, I look back at her. 

Matt also has this incredibly strange habit of narrating every little move and step his characters make. I say "strange" because it puts the author in a tough spot throughout the entire novel. What if the character takes the top off of the jar? You now need to make sure you write in the fact that he replaced the top, or else the reader will think he forgot, or that he's a radical kind of guy who opens jars all day long and leaves the lids off..... Does he not have faith in our ability to realize that in order to pour the drink, he had to remove the top and then replace it? Or in the case of the example below, does he question our ability to imagine that, in order to leave the parked car, the character must perform each one of these things in this exact order for the parking to be considered complete?

Ex: I Park, grab my phone, pull the keys, get out clicking the lock button on the door, shut the door, and run up the stairs, skipping several steps on the way up (pg.159)

The book was screaming for an editor from start to finish. And since this is the first book I've read from Creative House Press, I cannot say whether this is typical of their publishing company or not. But I have read other works by Matt, and I had to fight the urge to pick up a pencil and start rewriting sections of the novel as I went along. The magic is in there, but it's hidden under things that could easily be set aside or explained differently.

In the end, I think that this book suffered mostly due to lack of editing. I see it more as a rough first draft... something that was feverishly written and in need of a second, more thorough look before being published. There is something of a diamond in the rough here. More rough right now, less of a diamond, but still....

Matt has included two chapter excerpts on his website, which I would encourage you read. It will give you a  good feel for his style of writing. You may decide that I am out of my mind, and that I am needlessly tearing apart a perfectly good book. Which, in all honesty, could be true. If the goodreads reviews are anything to go by, I am clearly in the minority.

Though, I would caution you against reading this novel if it's your first experience with an independently published novel, as its quality is not representative of most indie published works of literary fiction.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Review: Fathermucker

Read 9/20/11 - 9/28/11
4 Stars - Strongly Recommended
Pgs: 310

Ok. I'll admit it. When I hear about books that revolve around the events of one single day, I cringe. I do. But I have good reason to. Saturday bored my socks off with it's hum-drum, well-to-do, fancy pants poshness while Fight For Your Long Day - an enjoyable read, don't get me wrong - crammed way too much stuff into one day to make it believable.

So experience tells me that the day in the life of novels never seem to find that happy medium between keeping me entertained while also keeping things realistic. Is it an impossible literary feat? Is it the Holy Grail equivalent of storytelling?

Not to fear folks! Greg Olear has found the magic combination with his "day in the life of a stay-at-home-dad" dramedy Fathermucker. It's a book that quickly worms its way to your heart while fingering your funny bone!

Josh Lansky works hard... at keeping his two preschool aged kids dressed, fed, and free of closet monsters while his wife is away on a week long business trip. On the day before his wife is due back, while hanging out at his daughter's morning playdate, one of the mom's drop a bomb on him : "I don't know how to tell you this, so I'm just going to tell you... It's about Stacey... I think she's having an affair."

As soon as the words leave her mouth, his daughter bangs her head and begins to cry. In the chaos that ensues, Josh fails to find out more details and ends up leaving in a daze. The rest of the day is a whirlwind of worries and concerns - dealing with his emotions and confusion and paranoia and inability to get ahold of his wife. Is she truly cheating on him? With who? When? How long has it been going on? How could she do that to him?

As he struggles to contain his inner turmoil, he also has to remain attentive to his children's needs - especially his son, who has Asperger's and is still quite dependent on him and prone to sporadic outbursts. He's got to make it through a field trip at the preschool, a play-date at the park, dinner, and bedtime without suffering a nervous breakdown or caving into his insecurities...

Fathermucker is a mosaic of fatherhood. It's clearly filled to the brim with pieces of Greg's own experiences and it tenderly balances the good with the bad, the funny with the serious, the parental frustrations with the silliness of childhood.  What is more hilarious than hearing your daughter tell you that she doesn't want to wear underwear to bed so she can air out her china? Or getting your kids to brush their teeth at bedtime by threatening them with the fear of developing "corn teeth"? Or promising to bring your son to Lowe's to buy him the newest edition of a home floorplan magazine if he behaves while you're out running errands? How could you make that stuff up?!

(I knew a guy who used to threaten his kids with "no milk at dinnertime" as a punishment for misbehaving! I'm not kidding!)

Oozing with pop culture goodness (it wouldn't be a Greg Olear novel without pop culture references), Greg not only addresses the old-fashioned stigma of SAHD's... he cleverly crumples the stigma into a ball, throws it into the air, and knocks it out of the park, giving the whole kit and kaboodle a new name and meaning!

Greg makes being a full time father cool again.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Book giveaway: Volt

TNBBC is nearly beside itself with joy - 
Alan Heathcock will be participating in our Author/Reader Discussion series in November!

In order to stimulate discussion, we are offering 10 domestic copies of 
his short story collection Volt!!!


(Domestic means US residents only)
(Sorry, international peeps!)

Here's the Goodreads Description
A blistering collection of stories from an exhilarating new voice One man kills another after neither will move his pickup truck from the road. A female sheriff in a flooded town attempts to cover up a murder. When a farmer harvesting a field accidentally runs over his son, his grief sets him off walking, mile after mile. A band of teens bent on destruction runs amok in a deserted town at night. As these men and women lash out at the inscrutable churn of the world around them, they find a grim measure of peace in their solitude. Throughout Volt, Alan Heathcock’s stark realism is leavened by a lyric energy that matches the brutality of the surface. And as you move through the wind-lashed landscape of these stories, faint signs of hope appear underfoot. In Volt, the work of a writer who’s hell-bent on wrenching out whatever beauty this savage world has to offer, Heathcock’s tales of lives set afire light up the sky like signal flares touched off in a moment of desperation.
And if you want to know what I think, check out my review!

Would you like to hear Alan reading from his novel? Here's a portion, recorded by yours truly at the 2011 Brooklyn Book Festival, of Alan reading from his short story SMOKE:



Like what you hear? Want to enter to win a copy? 

The contest will run through October 8th

Here's how to enter:

1 - Comment here stating that you would like to receive a copy of the book.

2 - You must be a resident of the US and leave me a way to contact you (email is preferred).

3- Agree to participate in a group read book discussion that will run during the entire month of November  over at TNBBC on Goodreads. Alan Heathcock has agreed to participate in the discussion and will be available to answer any questions you may have for him.

*If you are chosen as a winner, by accepting the copy you are agreeing to read the book and join the group discussion at TNBBC on Goodreads (the thread for the discussion will be emailed to you when before November 1st).

 Winners are chosen randomly and will be announced here and via email on October 8th. 
 Good luck!

Tell Me A Story - Daniel Shortell

Welcome to another addition of TNBBC's Tell Me A Story. 

Tell Me a Story is a monthly series that features previously unpublished short stories from debut and Indie authors. The request was simple: Stories can be any format, any genre, and any length. And many amazing writers signed up for the challenge.

This month's story comes to us from Daniel Shortell. He is the author of Where's Unimportant, a novel about a perpetual wanderer who finds himself tied down in a Manhattan-based soul-sucking career. The novel has been called "Amusingly sarcastic" and "Thought Provoking ". Daniel, a world wanderer himself, has put pen to paper to tell you all a different kind of story....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On When It Is NOT OK To Stab Someone In The Face


Staring down his opponent, the fact that this may be his last fight feels very real. A long career culminates into a moment defining legacy or obsolescence. A single loss on the minor circuit during his climb to the top, a technicality, killed the match before it began. Since that time, perfection, an absolutely flawless record. Never mind, perfection isn't reality and reality is rarely what it seems anyhow. This moment is all that  matters, this moment is his future, Rick "Painmaker" Johnson.
Rick sees Alonso, hell, Rick has been living and breathing Alonso for the past two months. Hour after hour of video reviewed, strategy refined, tactics played out on bloody, sweat-covered mats. A singular focus, stay alive; just make it to the end. Rick thinks of Elaine, then, just as quickly as the thought arrives, he pushes it away and regains eye contact with Alonso. Rick has learned to temper his emotions. He does not look at Alonso as an enemy, or even a threat. He is an obstacle, a physical specimen blocking the entrance to a tunnel. A door in life that must be walked through. A fear that must be faced. Rick thinks of his kid, Miles, and that little sticky lump forms in the back of his throat. Swallow. Gone, at least partially. Back to focus, back to Alonso "Wrecking Ball" Suarez.
Rick tells himself to quickly review his training, bask in it for a moment, prod, or better yet, stoke, his confidence. Origins in boxing. Years of mixed martial arts and 25 straight wins in the UFC. More recently, underground experience in the cages of Brasilia, raw jujitsu, no rules. Plenty of experience from which to draw and plenty to be confident about. Secure in his abilities, but childish in his methods of testing those abilities. Violence just always seemed to come natural, a perverse sort of contradiction to a coddled upbringing. Painmaker. A moniker earned in some focus-group-like method of character creation. A fierce, hard veneer to protect the warm, fatherly core.
Rick focuses on Alonso's weaknesses. He's not good on his back. He has a shorter reach. He's younger, less experienced. Rick shuts his eyes momentarily and speeds through as many situations as he can conjure up in ten seconds, developing counters to all perceived offences. The screams of the horde fade to silence and Rick's racing heart forces deeper breaths, more oxygen. A bouncing opponent looks on, focused, resolute. The bell.
Officer Jim Packer sits at his desk, reflecting on the previous week's activities. Chasing bookies around Queens and the Bronx, shaking down suspected contenders, assigning detectives to tail known promoters to get some semblance of the weekend's shape. Nearly all leads came up short, and, with so little evidence to go on, Packer resigns himself to a weekend of failure. Despite his best efforts, the matches will go on, money will change hands, lives will be made and lives will be dismantled. Just another weekend of illicit activity.
Packer has orders to follow which direct his action, decide how he allocates his time each week. He used to form opinions about the matches, but, over time, it has become easier to dismiss these thoughts and focus solely on his responsibilities as dictated by the terms of his employment. This is very convenient for Packer because morals no longer weigh and his point of view is rendered irrelevant. Only his job matters. It's not so much a parcelization of life, rather, it is a means by which to be a more effective custodian of the law: follow protocol based on the assumption that the system we operate within is fair and just for all. Period. If he gets any last minute leads, he will jump on them regardless of how involved he may otherwise be with his family on a Saturday night. This is what the job entails.
Alonso receives a powerful left sidekick to the ribs, and hears a very clear cracking sound. It's a familiar sound. At least one, perhaps two ribs just broke. The pain sears, but the mind compensates and a slight grimace is all that anyone could possibly detect from Alonso on a slow motion replay. Alonso fires back with a left hook, but it falls short as Rick clearly anticipated the shot.
Alonso, upon retreat, decides to take a fraction of a second to think about Carlene, his wife of two years. She is gorgeous, much more the desirable physical specimen than he. The smell of her hair, a concoction of indistinguishable fruits, sweet and usually the first indicator of her presence beyond sight. Fantastic. Something which never gets old, never ceases to arouse wonder or fails to evoke some Pavlovian sense of passion. Alonso knows that her attraction isn't his cauliflower ears or his massive leg press. It isn't his warm smile at the sight of her, or his surprisingly gentle touch considering his vocation and the callousness of his fingers. It has more to do with the thickness of his wallet and the paper it bends, but this doesn't unsettle his sentiments towards her. Much the opposite as he believes he is capable of providing her with everything she ever desired. Fists of steel, heart of gold, scent of money.
His attention returns to him in the form of a crushing kick to the inner thigh. Alonso puts his Carlene on hold to refocus on the task at hand. Jab, jab, hook.
Jeremy earns a nice living as the owner of a gentlemen's club on 3rd Avenue in SunsetPark, Brooklyn. He peddles skin and drinks, and easily clears $350k per year. His hobbies are single malts, sports cars and the underground cages up in the Bronx. Eight thousand dollars put him in the front row tonight, close enough to get splattered if conditions are just right. The splatter would be nice, but even better would be the 3:1 he placed on the Wrecking Ball. It would fetch him a solid $25k, easily enough for the new exhaust system. His wife doesn't know what he's up to in the Bronx, and she really doesn't give a shit either. As long as he stays away from the tramps at his establishment, everything else is fair game. This, of course, assumes that her comfy little lifestyle in Long Island is in no way compromised.
Jeremy came with Candi tonight. Jeremy never goes for a night on the town without being properly dressed, and what clings to your arm is just as important as what hangs from your neck. Candi is one of the many girls at Jeremy's club who is happy to earn a few extra bucks by servicing the big man. Just one rule, all after-hours activity is strictly confidential. The penalty for violating this one rule is termination of employment and a visit from Eduardo. Only Chastity has had the pleasure of Eduardo. A scarred face and a GED will get you 40 a week at $7.45 an hour at Key Foods, and the legacy of being deterrence exemplified.
Jeremy has no reason to doubt his choice thus far. "A Wrecking Ball has to take some damage through the steady process of pummeling the shit out of a building," Jeremy tells Candi who responds by checking her lipstick in her compact. Jeremy screams along with the other testosterone in the room and Candi alternates between nuzzling his neck and rubbing his moistening crotch. Wrecking Ball slashes at Painmaker, doing a bit of damage to his abdomen and Jeremy elbows Candi away, jumps to his feet in excitement.
One point five million dollars, that was his bet this evening. Richard Jennings sits in his high-roller box, swirling cognac, shifting his attention between his buddies and the fight. Most of the week, Richard sits decked in Savile Row's best, monitoring the fluctuations of market blips and coordinating financial assaults with high-powered technological salvos. The high-speed trading racket has been good, very good. Sure the hedge fund managers are banking more, lots more, but his trading status at Goldman has put him among the upper echelons of the trading elite on Wall Street. Tips come early off the wires from a network of insiders, and trades are executed ahead of market momentum. Puff up and pull back, let the little man hold the overpriced cards, then buy them back on a push-down the following week. A rollercoaster of unmerited profit. It's good business, with a solid cover of vague rules and no oversight.
The weekday stress pales immediately upon arrival at the cage. Drinks and blood flow, kicking the weekend off in style. Richard went long with his bet tonight, an unusually cocky week has him flying high, feeling invincible, perfectly in control of all around him. His horse is bleeding pretty good now, but Richard isn't phased. Painmaker jabs, fakes, then stabs to the right shoulder, quickly rolling out of the way. The gash is deep, it was a 'full shot' in cage lingo, meaning, the knife sunk to the handle. "Look at him," Richard yells to his friends, "Wrecking Ball is a fuckin' animal, he didn't even feel that shit. He so juiced that shit didn't even register!"
Alonso felt every bit of eight inches scraping across his humerus. Searing, burning pain, followed by an oddly cool reprieve, then, numbness. Carlene flashes, then his dead mother, followed by the cheers of victory. "Focus," he tells himself, "nothing but Rick, Rick is my everything, Rick is my only shot." Carlene and little green dollar signs fizzle to the outskirts of his mind as he wipes a bloody hand on his shorts, then wiggles his fingers before resetting his grip on the handle.
Big Ron lost his WPBF license first. He got caught by the board gambling on his matches at the underground bookies. His single infraction didn't deter the UFC, so he picked up a three year deal officiating all the top matches in Vegas. Inside a year, he was caught working a fix on another underground gamble, this time, passing quicklime to the underdog who staged an impossible comeback. The UFCdidn't think too kindly of his interference, so he was told to pack up. Ron isn't exactly a moral person, which only enhances his credentials up in the Bronx. 
Ron's at home in his latest gig as referee. From what he could see, neither Painmaker nor Wrecking Ball had a clear advantage in this fight so Ron kept his money under the mattress. Plus, considering the illegality of the match, Ron has little net incentive to influence events as a pissed mob would probably lynch.
Without concern for the outcome, Ron's job tonight is an easy one in three parts, plus, he has the best seat in the house to witness each strike.
     Part 1: Check equipment
·                  Regulation boxer shorts
·                  Regulation metal helmet with neck and face guard
·                  Regulation 8" Bowie knife

     Part 2: Review the Rules
·                  Fight is one round and goes till a winner emerges
·                  All strikes are permitted
·                  First person to die is the loser

     Part 3: Declare winner
·                  Pause fight at any time to check pulse(s)

Not only does his job pay a nice chunk of cash, but he gets to witness those precious last moments in a man's life where his purest self is exposed. Lying, covered in blood on a canvas mat, eyes glassing over from the lack of oxygen, saying his mental goodbyes to those he loves. It's that little sadistic ripple, that little fading light, the moment where God meets man and a life crosses over. Wrenching pain triggering an existential fear, then a melting of everything into a quiet oblivion. Each man is different, handles his finality in a uniquely nuanced way, of which the variations never grow old in Ron's eyes. If only he could be the one to plunge the final blade, his depravity would be complete and he could stand one step closer to God without actually making his acquaintance.
At this point, Ron is a useless body, flailing around the cage, spectator #1. Wrecking Ball and Painmaker are cut up and drippy, but both are still on their feet, relatively steady. Ron dispels his excitement by hopping around the cage, further rousing an intoxicated crowd.
Elaine didn't want to come, in fact she and Rick fought over it for the past three weeks. He said he needed her support. She said she couldn't bear to witness the fight. "I can't lose, I have complete confidence. Have I ever lost?"
"No," she said, "But that is not the point this time"
"This is our chance to make it big, to really earn some serious money, just a single fight, then, back to smaller paydays in the pros, or possibly, complete retirement."
She was not convinced. The stakes were too high. Her high school sweetheart had never lost anything in his lifetime. He was the consummate athlete. She knew he stood a solid chance, but what if? Tears and screams were a mainstay in their house the week leading up to the bout. She took a stand not to come. He felt the blow of her rejection, but took it in stride the way he always takes a knock. Swallow, shake, guard back up. Now, as a morale-booster, she sits ringside, next to Wrecking Ball's tart, showing up at the last minute in support of her brave hero. She fights tears as Rick bleeds profusely from the stomach, hand and thigh. For now though, he appears to be on top, but the flickers of light off metal catch her eye, causing her to flinch knowingly.
Three percent fruit juice, twelve percent grain alcohol, guarana, taurine, gingko, caffeine and corn syrup. Made by a division of the Coca-Cola family of beverages, but legally incorporated as an entirely separate economic entity thereby limiting liability to the king of soft drinks. This legal separation is important, because should the fight get busted, the brand "Hell's Juice" can fold cleanly and begin under the name "Blitzkrieg" in a couple weeks after a quick retool, without impacted the legal budget at Coke.
"Teardowns" - Corporate entities of questionable legality designed to make large profits in short-term volatile situations. These entities can be destroyed and reconstituted in template fashion on short turn-around schedules. The larger corporate umbrella usually keeps three to five iterations of the teardown planned and ready to go once a bust-up occurs.
Vendors weave through the crowds selling 24-ounce cans for $25 each. An overhead signboard encourages fans to 'chug' each time a contender is slashed or stabbed. With each subsequent stab, the intolerable fan seated behind Carlene becomes increasing intoxicated, kicking her seat-back, causing her to lunge forward uncomfortably. She finds herself becoming increasingly irritated and wishing Alonso was seated next to her because he would "straighten that jerk out". For now though, he is tied up in a grapple which has both him and Painmaker outstretched on the mat, each with the other's wrist in hand, fending off a plunge of the blade.
Gerry and a handful of his friends are out for a night on the town. At two grand a pop, they dug deep in the wallet for tonight's least desirable seats. But hey, to watch a couple fights go to the death is worth some overtime down at the docks. "Damn," Reggie says to Gerry "check out Wrecking Ball's bitch in the front row, she's fine!" A Hell's Juice cheers and chug. Painmaker slices Wrecking Ball across his right forearm and a flash of red quickly emerges. "Fuck him up Painmaker!" Gerry yells as everyone chugs.
Dr. Wiley is above all the non-sense. He earned his credentials years ago, had a great little practice, until he couldn't keep up with insurance payments. Had to reduce staff, then close shop. Through a friend he learned how he could make a nice little stack under the table, and, better yet, only have to work a few hours a month, allowing him to focus on his first love: painting. Wiley is on stand-by. Once the winner is declared, he will rush to Wiley to quickly fix any gaping holes before being dropped off at the hospital for more thorough treatment. "Stupid barbarians" is how Wiley refers to them, yet he finds them to be the absolute best subjects for both of his crafts.
Rick collects Alonso's legs in his own, rolls and pins him to the mat. Alonso is clearly wearing down. Rick checks the clock. Five minutes have gone by and Rick is aware he has about one minute of full energy left before he succumbs to fatigue. He quickly lunges into a low mount, keeping Rick's hands pinned.
Alonso catches the glint of Carlene's eye. She is evaluating his progress, objectively, coolly, as if watching a couple of politicians rapt in a heated debate. A little hint of skepticism squints from her left eye as she evaluates the efficacy of the previous move. She bites her lip in contemplation, then remembering, she licks the lipstick from her teeth and rubs her lips together, smoothing out the little indentation on her bottom lip. Unknown to each other, their mental space collides as they both flash forward to their upcoming vacation in Bermuda, waves lapping on her pedicured feet, sun warming his lumpy scar tissue.
Rick is blind. He isn't seeing anything at this point. He's only vaguely aware of himself. Adrenaline overtakes him, a quick little burst of furious power, making his body light-weight and composed. He projects his victory, becomes certain of it, and a buzz tingles down through his fingertips causing him to grip his knife's handle with obscene pressure.
Sue is working late at the call center. Earlier today, she read an investigative piece on the elusive cages in the Bronx. They sickened her and she felt moved to take a position on the issue. Sue, the otherwise quiet, introverted, apolitical person. The last time she voted she wore a sparkling pair of jellies and one of those sweatshirts with no discernable neck. "Maybe I should write a little email to Schumer or Gillibrand, express one citizen's concern," she thought to herself. She nodded her way through a sense of righteousness as she sat daydreaming in limbo, the clarity of morning filling her head with ideas. Her cell rang. It was Elliot. He left his shin-guards on the kitchen table and needed them for practice later on. Then, the coffee machine buzzed to life with a fresh brew. Sue, drinking her coffee on the way to deliver Elliot's equipment ran through the to-do list for the day and decided that she would reward herself with a quick stop by Bloomingdales to get that new handbag she deserved. Now, on the phone dispatching 911 calls, her memory lurches and she thinks of a man taking his last breathes inside a cage, onlookers cheering. She alerts the NYPD of a GSW in Bed-Stuy, takes a sip of her Diet Coke then browses Zappos for the latest deal. She punches in just three hours.
The knife comes down. It probably didn't puncture the heart, but, most likely, it severed the aorta as the profusion of blood is overwhelming. Rick leaves the blade upright cause he knows that was the strike he was working for. There's nothing left to do, so he takes a pause to gain composure, catch his breath, assess his wounds.
Alonso is back-flat on the mat, sucking little breathes, hoping to capitalize on the leniency his opponent is showing. He tugs at the handle, but the shifting knife pulls at his rib cage causing him to heave nauseous from the structural jarring. Blood fills his mouth. Carlene looks on, calculating how she will approach her damsel in distress routine, rehearses a few lines in her head. Elaine is doubled-over, crying, unreachable to the outside world, connected immediately to what she believes is the grace of God squeezing her, suffocating her. She is trying to imagine just how large ticket sales were, and secondarily, feels an overwhelming sense of relief that her Rick is alive, standing, limping around the cage.
Richard Jennings isn't happy, but he's still in control, always will be and he knows this. "Dumb-fucker let Painmaker get a solid mount, of course he's going to lose at that point. Well, he got what he deserved. This turned out to be an expensive night, eh boys?" Richard's buddies look on, irritated at him for the hard sell, but more irritated at themselves for following his moves once again. Kissing their money goodbye, they take a moment's pleasure to watch their horse gasp for breath, retribution for their loss.
Ron's on his knees next to Wrecking Ball, watching his slowing breath. Clearly he is still alive, therefore, the match is not over. Ron gives the signal that the match is still in progress.
Dr. Wiley checks his watch. He's going to make his 11pm. He smiles at his good fortune.
Rick assesses the damage to his stomach, legs, and arms and glances over at Alonso to see if he is done yet. Nope, his chest is still growing and shrinking, his puckered lips regulating airflow. Rick is bleeding horribly, feels faint as he plods around in drying patches of carmine, his hands raised flaccidly to cacophonous cheers and jeers. Rick knows he is fighting a clock too, so he returns to Wrecking Ball, kneels, grabs the blade and begins jerking and twisting it side to side allowing blood greater access to the open air. Anemically, Alonso grabs at Rick's wrists, attempting to offset his motion, his legs jerk indiscriminately.
Alonso controls his breathing through his nose, as his ears slowly echo then mute the pulse of the crowd. He flashes between the sands of Bermudaand the touch of his wife. He can't remember her name. He can't remember his name. He doesn't know why he is holding the bloody hands of a stranger. He panics, then, stares off into space.
Dr. Wiley whip-stitches several holes shut, as two sobbing women approach. Tearfully, they both congratulate Painmaker then turn chipper as the judges levy their final assessment of the evening.

...LATER THAT NIGHT...

Candice walks through the door; another late night on stage. Jim, while he doesn't approve of her profession, he realizes the blatant hypocrisy of complaining considering their initial meeting was a one-sided dance in a smoky bar. Her choices don't exactly agree with his sense of morality, however, his erratic schedule is certainly a recurring complaint of hers. This is their compromise; blue lights for red neon is the exchange which bonds them.
Sue clocked out hours ago and is now home working her second shift with a colicky Rachael who placates herself intermittently at the nipple. Gerry comes stumbling into the living room, inebriated, but appears relaxed, satisfied for once. He struggles to string together a few words about why he arrived home so late, but Sue hushes him, smiles and tells him to sleep it off. She's proud of her husband and all of the extra work he has been putting in to help with the flailing finances; he deserves a night of fun.
Michelle was stabbed in the face three times by her boyfriend after she was caught in bed with another man in a bucolic-chic stone house off of E Shore Road in Great Neck. Rufus Nolan Wiley, a board-certified pediatrician was booked in Nassau County Jail and place on suicide watch.

...LATER THAT WEEK...

The community was absolutely beside itself with anguish and a mountain of flowers decorated the front steps of Michelle's parent's house. Alan W. Voight, Chairman of the Board of The Coca-Cola Company eulogized his daughter and former New York Statebeauty queen in a private service at his Kings Point getaway. The donations to the Children's Heart Foundation in lieu of flowers was enough to push little Dianne's heart fund over the goal. Her surgery was successful and she quickly progressed out of the ICU.

...LATER IN LIFE...

Dianne Whitmore, survivor of childhood Restrictive Cardiomyopathy went on to lead a healthy, productive life. After completing her PhD in Astrophysics, she, along with her business partner and husband Miles Johnson, co-developed the foundational technology ultimately leading to the full weaponization of space.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I want to thank Daniel for participating in TNBBC's Tell Me a Story. If you like what you've read, please support Daniel by checking out his website and book. Help spread the word by sharing this post through your blog, tumblr page, twitter and facebook accounts. Every link counts! And be sure to check back with us next month for the next installment....

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Review: Don't Kiss on the Lips...

Read 9/27/11
3 Stars - Recommended for readers familiar with genre (and who can find the humor in networking)
Pgs:84

Early one morning, while hanging around the author booths in the back of Javits Center during this year's BEA,  a woman approached me with a copy of this book in her hand. "The author is signing this book right now, if you would like a copy, " she said. I flipped through it quickly, saw that no one was in the line (hence the reason the woman was pitching it to passer-bys) and decided to grab one.

The title is catchy enough.. "Don't Kiss on the Lips and Other Networking Tips" sounds like sound advice, right? And it immediately made me think of my former place of employment.

We didn't kiss each other on the lips... well, that I know of anyway.... but there were times where, at my old job, all members of management met in the upstairs office for hand-off meetings between shifts. And during those hand-off meetings which occured before a holiday, we were subjected to huggings and "cheek kissings" from our respective counterparts, managers, and building manager- much to my dismay - as we wished each other "a happy insert-the-current-holiday-here".

Most people don't mind this display of friendly affection and well-wishing. But you have to understand something.... I am extremely fond of my personal space. I feel most comfortable when coworkers, and any other non-member-of-my-immediate-family for that matter, remain a good arms-length away while conversing with me.

These holiday hand-off meetings at work were sheer torture for me. I referred to them as "greasy cheek" meetings. Because - after the rubbing of many cheeks against my own cheek - it felt as though the side of my face was buried beneath a layer of everyone's oily dead skin and face sweat. (Excuse me while I attempt to swallow the urge to vomit...) I always felt the dire need to run home, strip off my clothes, and scrub my cheeks raw with bleach under a boiling hot shower.

Don't Kiss on the Lips is an extremely quick read, meant to be flipped through in preparation for a business dinner or networking event. Short, simple, and very much to the point. And also, at times, quite humorous.

See, the introduction states that this book is meant for both the seasoned professional and the networking newbie (my term, not theirs). And therein lies the issue. While some of the tips make smart powerful statements, others fall too far off the mark and should be considered "common sense" instead of "networking tips".

Here, let's test a few. I'll share a Networking Tip with you and you have to tell me if it's a smart statement, or    if it should be considered common sense. Ready?

Tip # 1 - Most job openings are filled by networking - It's one of the most valuable skills you will ever develop.  (what do you say, guys? Smart Statement, or Common Sense? Definitely smart, right? Right!)

Tip # 3 - People are more likely to remember how you said something than what you said. So speak with confidence. (Smart Statement or Common Sense? I'm sticking with smart again. It's good advice.)

Tip # 7 - Ask the person you are talking to how they like to be contacted.  (I think that is an extremely smart statement. Are you with me so far?)

Tip # 11 - Do not be a stalker. (Oh shit..... can you define stalker..?)

Tip # 15 - Send handwritten thank-you notes telling people why it was good to meet them, and include your business card so they will remember you. (That's another smart statement. We could always get better at this one!)

Tip # 22 - It's never OK to lie. (Really? Like... never ever? Damn... I was saving a coupla good ones up...)

Tip # 25 - Your business card should not be so thin that it gives anyone a paper cut. (I'm torn on this one. On the one hand, it's a smart statement, right? I mean, we certainly don't want anyone bleeding all over the place because we were too cheap to purchase quality cards... yet on the other hand, you'd have to be a complete moron to hand those razor-wanna-be's out, right?)

Tip # 32 - When someone hands you a business card, take time to read it. (Totally smart statement.)

Tip # 37 If the person you would like to meet is in the middle of a conversation, do not interrupt. (uhm.. duh? Common sense. Move on.)

Tip # 42 - Brush your teeth before you go to a networking event. (No wonder everyone was staring at my mouth as I spoke.. I had this HUGE ASS piece of spinach between my teeth! Why didn't anyone tell me??)

Tip # 82 - Try not to swear. (Ok, I'm screwed. I mean, between the whole "it's never ok to lie" thing, and the fact that stalking is frowned upon, and now the not swearing thing.. Hell, am I allowed to breathe? Are you going to to try to take that away from me too? Geesh!)

So, you see what I mean? There are 84 tips in all... and while there are a lot more smart statements like the ones I've shared above, there are also a handful more of those completely unnecessary tips that made me chuckle. Maybe that's why they are in there? To lighten the mood, to add a little comic relief? To give this book cross-genre appeal? To make it impossible for the employees at the book store to determine whether it should be shelved with the humor books or the informative ones? All of the above?

Whatever the case, I found it highly entertaining and may even photocopy a few of these pages to display in my office window. To give the guys something to think about as they go from meeting to meeting, and person to person... Something to influence the building's morale. God knows we've all got to take a good look at what we are doing right, and what we need to do differently. And sometimes, we just gotta learn how to laugh at ourselves too!

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Indie Spotlight: Wink Publishing

The world of publishing continues to evolve - to meet the needs of todays writers and readers.

I have a special new publisher I would like you to meet. Their called Wink Publishing, and they are asking for your help in deciding which new books they should publish.

Yup, you heard me right. A publisher who is asking for reader input on which breakthrough new novels get published. Check out their guest post explaining it all....


The problem with publishing.


Wink Publishing shouldn’t exist.  Its purpose, the problem it was created to solve, shouldn’t exist, but it does.  So Wink Publishing is here, looking for the best undiscovered writing talent and offering something more to new authors than traditional publishers currently do.

There is a problem at the heart of publishing which eBooks have brought into sharp focus.  It’s a problem which has always existed, but the accessibility to sales platforms such as Amazon’s Kindle and Apple’s iBooks has brought the issue into the dazzling sunlight.

The problem is that while many writers don’t write for the money, the majority of publishers publish for profit.  This misalignment of interests has shaped the publishing world for years.  While publishers haven’t taken advantage of author’s lack of commerciality, their financial imperatives have coloured their title list.  An editor will usually stand behind only those novels which will at the very least break even, unless it is seen as a loss leader to a franchise or a continuing body or work from that writer.  The plethora of celebrity titles, ghost written fiction and formulaic genre bestsellers are evidence of publisher’s mercantile mindset.

But literature has nothing to do with money.  In its purist form it is the most efficient, entertaining and everlasting way to share ideas and emotions.  It allows one person to share their unique view of the world with people they will never meet and never know.  If asked, most writers would happily give away their work if they didn’t need to eat as the spiritual nourishment of sharing their work would be enough.

Until the advent of eBooks, there were no credible alternatives to the publisher’s way of publishing for authors to take advantage of.  Publishers controlled the supply chain, had the financial resources to all but guarantee a books success and kept civil and profitable relationships with all of the books shops, both independent retailers and chains.  The system was designed to benefit everyone except writers, who were expected to give up control of the work that they had spent years crafting in return for a fraction of the income it generated.  While it was ideal for publishers, it was simply the better of two ills for writers, the alternative being eternal obscurity.

Everything changed when Amazon arrived.  While it just sold print books, publishers only noticed the increase in sales.  They didn’t notice any change in the overall landscape, not even when the Kindle eReader was launched.  Neither did they spot the potential risk to their way of doing business when Kindle’s Direct Publishing was launched, followed by Apple’s iBooks and iBook Store.  It was just another fad which would fade into the landscape.

But it hasn’t.  When the history of eBooks is written, Christmas 2010 will be marked as the watershed, the time when it all changed.  Whether it was because of the launch of the iPad, the lower price of the Kindle or simple zeitgeist only time will tell, but 2011 has shown phenomenal sales increases for eBooks.  The income has, belatedly, convinced publishers of the benefits of this new way of enjoying literature.

It has also seen the rise of the best-selling, self-published author. The number of writers who have sold over a million books without the aid of a publisher so far this year is almost as many as in the entire history of publishing.  This is all because of eBooks and shows no sign of slowing down.

While this trend is welcomed by struggling writers, it also accentuates the oldest problems in publishing.  The problem which Wink Publishing exists to solve.  How does a reader discover a new writer? 

Traditionally, a publisher would back a writer with the necessary marketing campaign and financial resources to ensure that the author becomes well known, thus ensuring steady sales.  However, with more writers choosing to eschew publishers in favour of going it alone, the reality of becoming a lone voice in a deafening chorus clamouring for attentions bites early and bites hard.  How does a new writer, without a big budget marketing campaign, find their readers?  How does a new writer become discovered?

It’s an old problem, but a problem, which, thanks to technology has a new solution as well as providing Wink Publishing with a reason to exist.

If the main purpose of a publisher is to sell books, and to do that readers need to want to buy that book, why take a risk on a novel?  As a publisher, why not take out the guesswork about which books will be popular and only publish those with a proven track record?  Until now it has been impossible to do this with an unpublished writer, but we’ve found a way to do just that.

Wink Publishing doesn’t choose which books to publish, we let readers do that.

We select a number of titles which have been well written and then ask readers to vote for the one which they want to see published.  No other publisher is doing this.  It’s scary for us, but the benefits will, we believe, far outweigh the drawbacks.

But we’ve decided to go further than that.  Not only do we offer undiscovered authors another way to connect with their readers, we offer a fairer deal.  Whatever income their debut novel generates is split 50/50.  Any costs of generating that income is taken from our share, so the writer always gets half of the income we receive.

We also do more than just publish their book.  We try to find people who are interested in filming their work, or people who want to serialise or use the novel in another way.  In this respect we fill the role of the writer’s agent.  Again, something no other publisher does at the moment.

The new publishing landscape opens lots of possibilities for publishers and we have only scratched the surface so far, but if you think we’re doing something worthwhile, please help us help new writers.

We don’t want your money or even much of your time. 

All we need is your vote.

Please read the entries for our current contest here and then vote for your favourite.

Without you we won’t have anything to publish.

Without you a new writer may never be discovered.

(Wink Publishing can be found on twitter and facebook as well as on their website.)

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Book Giveaway: Damascus

TNBBC has the incredible honor of hosting a mid-month Author/Reader discussion with Joshua Mohr 
and you know what that means......!!

In order to stimulate discussion,
We will be giving away 10 domestic copies of his newest novel 


(domestic means US residents only)
(sorry, international followers!)

It's 2003 and the country is divided evenly for and against the Iraq War. Damascus, a dive bar in San Francisco's Mission District, becomes the unlikely setting for a showdown between the opposing sides. 
Tensions come to a boil when Owen, the bar's proprietor who has recently taken to wearing a Santa suit full-time, agrees to host the joint's first (and only) art show by Sylvia Suture, an ambitious young artist who longs to take her act to the dramatic precipice of the high-wire by nailing live fish to the walls as a political statement. 
 An incredibly creative and fully rendered cast of characters orbit the bar. There's No Eyebrows, a cancer patient who has come to the Mission to die anonymously; Shambles, the patron saint of the hand job; Revv, a lead singer who acts too much like a lead singer; and Owen, donning his Santa costume to mask the most unfortunate birthmark imaginable. 
 Damascus is the place where confusion and frustration run out of room to hide. By gracefully tackling such complicated topics as cancer, Iraq, and issues of self-esteem, Joshua Mohr has painted his most accomplished novel yet.

The contest will run through September 27th. 

 Here's how to enter:

 1 - Comment here stating that you would like to receive a copy of the book.

 2 - You must be a resident of the US and leave me a way to contact you.

 3- Agree to participate in a group read book discussion that will run during the middle of October  through the middle of November over at TNBBC on Goodreads. Joshua Mohr has agreed to participate in the discussion and will be available to answer any questions you may have for him. 

 *If you are chosen as a winner, by accepting the copy you are agreeing to read the book and join the group discussion at TNBBC on Goodreads (the thread for the discussion will be emailed to you by the 15th of the October).

 Winners are chosen randomly 
and will be announced here and via email on September 28th. 

 Good luck!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

2011 Brooklyn Book Festival, FTW

What happens when you give a bunch of publishers, countless authors, and book lovers and bloggers like TNBBC and BookSexyReview free reign of Brooklyn's Court Street? The 2011 Brooklyn Book Festival, that's what!

I was horrible about taking photos this year, so rather than write a super long, not so interesting post about everything that happened, I'm gonna break my BKBF experience down into a list of highlights and lowlights:

BKBF11 Highlights:
  • Hanging with Tara from BookSexyReview, my literary partner-in-crime! We drove into the city together, so we had loads of time to girl-talk and book-talk and enjoy the festival.
  • How about that weather, huh? Not a drop of rain! A bit windy at times, but a totally gorgeous day to be out among the bookish!
  • Meeting Richard Nash of Red Lemonade and Jessica Deutsch of Coffee House Press - two publishers I began working with this year, and look forward to working with again and again.
  • Seeing Erin from Graywolf Press and Erica from Harper Perennial again. I love these ladies! Show me someone who doesn't, I dare you!
  • Meeting Alan Heathcock, author of Volt. Alan and I have communicated online many times over the past year and I just happened to catch him walking by me at the festival (hours before his scheduled panel). He is extremely cool in person and wrote a lovely little message in my copy of his novel when he signed it. BTW, we will be giving away copies of his novel and hosting a discussion of it with him in the coming months! We are extremely excited and hope you will be too! 
  • Listening to the Getting To It and Getting Through It and the Short and Sweet (and Sour) short story panels. I enjoyed seeing Alan Heathcock's read from Volt, and got to hear Amelia Gray read from her flash fiction collection AM/PM.
  • Accidently asking for two tickets to the Colson Whitehead / Patrick Somerville panel, when all I needed was one, and being able to pass that extra ticket on to Levi Asher when he tweeted that he had no ticket and couldn't get in! How's that for an accident?! 
  • OMG, the food trucks! I had no clue NYC had such deliciousness driving around on 4 (or is it 8 or 10?) wheels! Tara enticed me into ordering from a grilled cheese truck that made a to-die-for short rib sandwich, and then talked me into ordering an angus burger from Frites N Meat - which initially looked and sounded scary but ended up being quite tasty, and had the best employees in the food business. 
  • I know this defeats the purpose of the Festival and goes against everything the publishers are trying to accomplish, but I did not buy ONE book! I was surrounded by millions of awesome looking novels and quelled the urge to spend all of my money on them, and by god, It wasn't easy!. There is no way my TBR pile could have handled any more additions..... 


BKBF11 Lowlights:
  • There just are not enough hours in one day to contain all of the author panels and signings, the networking with the publishers at the booths, the eating, the peeing, and the standing in line for tickets! Hell, there aren't enough minutes in between each event to even get from one panel to another without missing a signing or a reading! I would have to recommend splitting out the events across two days, with an hour-long break between each panel.
  • The damn weekend Subway changes! Making adjustments to the trains and which lines they are running is hell for a subway-challenged individual like myself! Thank god Tara knows what she is doing! We got on the C train under Port Authority, headed to Brooklyn, and then realized it was running the F line, which was cool till it parked it's ass in the middle of the trip and never started back up again. After losing 20 minutes just sitting there, we jumped over to the R line (I think?!) and had another 20 minutes to kill while we waited for it to arrive. Fuck public transportation! I am convinced I could have walked to Brooklyn from Port Authority quicker than those subway rides got us there.
  • Making an ass out of myself at the PM Press booth. I introduced myself and thanked them for a copy of a book they don't publish! I mixed them up with another relatively new publisher to me - both mailed me books at the same time -and I walked away feeling like a complete nube! That's never happened to me before. Oy! 
  • Carrying around copies of books by A.M. Homes, Jonathan Safran Foer, and Ben Lerner all day - expecting to crash the signings - and never making it to a single one! See the first bullet point; something had to give, some things just didn't make the cut. (sigh) Last year I had loads of books signed. This year... only one!
  • For me, the lowest of the low: The fact that the day finally, grudgingly, had to come to an end!!!!
Were you there? What was a highlight for you?