Eat Like an Author: Molly Gaudry

When most people get bored, they eat. When I get bored, I brainstorm new series and features for the blog, and THEN eat. And not too long ago, as I was brainstorming and contemplating what I wanted to eat, I thought how cool it would be to have a mini-foodie series where authors share the things they like to eat. Photos and recipes and all. And so I asked them, and amazingly they responded, and I dubbed it EAT LIKE AN AUTHOR. 


Last week, Bradley J Milton shared his secret love of Chex Mix. 

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Today, Molly Gaudry gives us her daily rundown:

Under doctor’s orders, I’m supposed to eat 6 small meals a day.

I used to be a lot better at it, but I just moved across the country in August, to a totally different climate, and it’s been so hot here that it’s nearly impossible to even fathom the idea of cooking. Still, as the weeks wear on, I’m trying again to make a more decent effort.

The day always begins at sunup with coffee and water. I lovemy little Mr. Coffee hot plate/mug warmer. It is the best thing.

Breakfast, at 10 am, when I’m smart about it, is a blueberry, banana, yogurt, and protein smoothie. This one doesn’t have kale, which I usually like to add, but I also usually buy kale to cook with. Kale’s not on the grocery list these days. Did I mention it’s too hot to turn on the stove? I like to sometimes add a cucumber or an apple, but not today apparently.

My first snack around noon is usually a Cliff bar and a banana on the go.

Lunch, around 2 pm, is pre-grilled chicken strips from Trader Joe’s, eggplant hummus, naan, and coconut water. Yes yes yes.

Snack 2, around 4 pm, is whatever veggies I’ve got that are a day or two from starting to maybe be questionable. Here we have some tiny little sweet peppers, cucumber, tomatoes, and a topping of pine nuts, pumpkin seeds, walnuts, and flaxseed.

Dinner, not to be eaten after 6 pm, has lately been either already cooked Teriyaki turkey burgers or already grilled salmon from Whole Foods. Under the salmon here is Whole Foods’ amazing grilled green beans, and a mix of stuff from their salad bar: peas, corn, spicy kale salad, beets, carrots, cucumber, and another handful of that nuts and seeds mix. The protein shake was OK, but too expensive for just OK.

  

Dessert, sometime before bed, is more often than not my old friend Haagen-Dazs, but I really need to be eating more fruit. When I’m doing things right, dessert should look more like this—fresh fruit topped with yogurt, topped with nuts and seeds. 

But then of course, there’s this thing, which is basically the best thing ever.

And that’s it. My days in meals. . . .

I used to resent it, living on a timer, eating on a tightly regimented schedule. But I have to admit I do feel better, healthier than I’ve ever been. My nutrition levels don’t spike or dip. My moods and energy levels stay pretty even. My brain is better for it. My metabolism is better for it. And maybe, who knows, my writing might be better for it, too. 

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In 2011, Molly Gaudry was shortlisted for the PEN/Joyce Osterweil Award for Poetry, and her verse novel, We Take Me Apart, was named 2nd finalist for the Asian American Literary Award for Poetry. In 2012, YesYes Books released the 3-author volume Frequencies, which includes her short fiction collection "Lost July." In 2013, The Cupboard will release "Wild Thing," a collection of essays and poems, and in 2014 Ampersand Books is slated to reprint an expanded, revised edition of We Take Me Apart in anticipation of the release of its prequel Remember Us and its sequel The Uncertainty & Madness of Desire. Molly is a core faculty member of the Yale Writers' Conference and is the Creative Director at The Lit Pub. Find her on Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, or Goodreads. 

Indie Spotlight: C.G. Bauer's SCARS ON THE FACE OF GOD

Back in 2010, I reviewed C.G. Bauer's Scars on the Face of God, a book I had longed to read and, when I finally got my hands on it, really enjoyed. It's this slow, chilling southern-gothic tale of a town with some nasty secrets to hide and it really blew me away. 

This morning's spotlight features an excerpt from the book, provided by C.G. as a promotional peek, because starting today through Halloween night, Scars is free to download on amazon.  Take it from me, if you haven't read it yet, now is the perfect opportunity to score a copy for your kindle!

Excerpt from SCARS ON THE FACE OF GOD: THE DEVIL’S BIBLE. The novel is set mostly in 1964. The protagonist storyteller is Wump Hozer, a 65-year-old church custodian. An orphan, he never made it out of the sixth grade. “Wump” of course is a nickname. It comes from the sound a crowbar makes when it hits a man’s head. Here is Wump giving us some backstory. --- Chris Bauer

A grudge in the hands of the rich and powerful is a terrible thing. Grudges in the hands of their hired help are no less terrible, but with fewer ways to satisfy them they for sure have a longer life.

            The year was 1935, and a skin rash that started on my right wrist and moved north onto my arm and chest was what finally made me leave the tannery. This and Viola’s second miscarriage, plus one confrontation I’d had with Mister-Fucking-Laughing-Pile-of-Shit-College-Boy Hughie Volkheimer soon afterwards, him a freshly minted graduate who his old man had made into a tannery supervisor, and me ten years older, just trying to make a living. Leaving the tannery was the best thing I could have done for myself. Best thing for Hughie, too, otherwise I might have killed him.

            “You there,” he’d called to me on that last day, his finger tapping the air like a hen pecking a barnyard, “Hozer. Hop on down next to that bin, grab a shovel and start loading up that truck’s payload. We’re short back here today.”

            Me and him were the only two people on the tannery loading dock. I was dumping parts of a cow carcass into an open metal box, which was riling up the flies inside the box pretty good. It was then I seen that more than a day’s worth of waste was sitting under them buzzing flies, all mixed in with leaking cans of bleach-based cleaning solvent plus other used leather tanning chemicals. I wanted no part of what he was asking.

“I’m a tanner, not a cleanup guy,” I said, shaking my tilted wheelbarrow. A pesky piece of unidentifiable cow scrap refused to budge; I pushed it off with my hand. More buzzing flies. “Get Otto to do it,” I told him. Except I already knew what an extra day of cow parts sitting in the box meant: Today there weren’t no Otto.

            Out back of the tannery had been, and I expect still is, a half-buried lagoon of arsenic-based insecticides and tanning chemicals, plus hundreds of barrels of crud-eating machinery detergents and other tannery process by-products, including lead and chromium. The industrial revolution by way of the Three Bridges local tannery industry was doing its damnedest to revolutionize the few small foothills and one green valley on this back section of the Volkheimer property, a couple of hundred acres or so that weren’t more than a football field away from a creek feeding the Wissaquessing River. The creek bank had turned into dead space, starting from the pits where animal hides and hair and other slaughterhouse wastes lay rotting, then fanning out across acres of what had once been scrub pine akin to them barrens in New Jersey. It wasn’t like the Jersey Pine Barrens scenery ever actually looked good even though the earth was alive, but it for sure looked a whole lot better than the singed armpit of a spread hidden in the back of the tannery’s property.

            “Otto’s under the weather today,” Hughie said, “so I want you to do it.”

            Under the weather the prick called it. Christ, Otto had been wheezing for months, which weren’t no surprise considering the chemicals he inhaled. Weren’t but a few years earlier another kraut fella who handled the tannery’s waste, the one before Otto, showed up dead in the north woods, found first by the local wildlife then afterwards, what was left of him at least, by hunters. Cause of death, a Mauser shot to the temple, self-inflicted according to his note. The real cause of death, or what made him pull the trigger, was tumors all over his lungs. The man was all of thirty-eight years old.

            “Like I said, Hughie, it’s not my job.”

            “You’ll address me as Mr. Volkheimer, and your job is what I tell you it is, Hozer.” Hughie unfolded his arms and gave a gentleman’s tug to the bottom of his vest with both hands, liberating his chunky neck from a starched shirt collar. “Start loading that waste and those solvent cans in your wheelbarrow and get moving. You know where it goes.”

            The owner’s son was all Hughie amounted to, but this meant that compared to the rest of us, he shit lavender and roses. Still, I weren’t never one for ponying up to authority that hadn’t really earned it. “Sorry, Mister Volkheimer, but I won’t be doing that. I’m heading inside now to get back to work.”

            I turned my back on him and started off, expecting maybe I’d get a biting comment or two, but what came out of his mouth stopped me cold.

            “Do what I say now, Hozer, or I’ll have you sacked. Then you’ll wish for your wife to miscarry every time, since you won’t be able to support a family.”

            Hughie didn’t stay upright much long after that, and he was lucky to have come away with only a few fractured ribs and a sore jaw, and the gooey yellow contents of one of them open solvent cans stuffed down the pants of his vested management suit. It took three men to pull me off him that day, with the same three men escorting me out of that fucking tannery, me vowing never to return. I kept the vow for six years, right up to the day Otto’s wife asked me to collect her deceased husband’s work belongings. Cause of his death: tumors on his lungs.

Scars on the Face of God: The Devil's Bible can be purchased on Amazon: amzn.to/tV3K0g. C.G. Bauer can be found on facebook. 

Isaac Marion's Would You Rather

Bored with the same old fashioned author interviews you see all around the blogosphere? Well, TNBBC's newest series is a fun, new, literary spin on the ole Would You Rather game. Get to know the authors we love to read in ways no other interviewer has. I've asked them to pick sides against the same 20 odd bookish scenarios. And just to spice it up a bit, each author gets to ask their own Would You Rather question to the author who appears after them....

Isaac Marion's 

Would You Rather

Would you rather write an entire book with your feet or with your tongue?

Feet would be easier, but tongue would be sexier. I think people would rather read a book written by a tongue.


Would you rather have one giant bestseller or a long string of moderate sellers?

What happens to me after that giant bestseller that prevents further bestsellers? Do I die? Get addicted to drugs? Pull a Salinger? Do I try to climb Everest alone and lose my fingers and toes to frostbite and then try to write books with my tongue? More information is needed to make an informed decision. But I guess if those are the absolute options, a string of moderate sellers, because I don't want to be known my whole life for just one thing.


Would you rather be a well known author now or be considered a literary genius after you’re dead?

If I knew I’d be able to experience it in some way, I’d rather be considered a genius, but I have too little certainty about the afterlife to make any posthumous plans, so I’ll take the moderate regard right now, please.


Would you rather write a book without using conjunctions or have every sentence of your book begin with one?

I haven’t been in school for a long time...what are conjunctions again?


Would you rather have every word of your favorite novel tattooed on your skin or always playing as an audio in the background for the rest of your life?

Definitely the tattoo. The font would have to be so small that from a distance it would appear to be solid color over my entire body, so I’d look like some kind of blue-green monster man, and I could jump out of closets and scare people with literature.


Would you rather write a book you truly believe in and have no one read it or write a crappy book that comprises everything you believe in and have it become an overnight success?

On the surface, this appears to be an easy one. Option number one, of course. But zoom out a little, and it’s a bit more complicated, because if I had a book that was an overnight success, it would give me enough clout to get other books published and marketed, and those ones wouldn’t have to be crappy, those ones could be complex and challenging and contribute positively to the collective unconscious. So, potentially, the crappy compromise book could be a means to a positive end that might never happen if I always insisted on doing things I wholeheartedly believed in. MORAL PARADOX.


Would you rather write a plot twist you hated or write a character you hated?

I write characters I hate all the time. They’re usually the most fun to write.


Would you rather use your skin as paper or your blood as ink?

Wow, this took a turn for the macabre. But, in essence, this question has the same outcome as the tattoo question, so once again, I choose to become a blue-green monster man.


Would you rather become a character in your novel or have your characters escape the page and reenact the novel in real life?

Are you kidding? I love my characters. (Even the ones I hate.) I’d never damn them to the mundane desert of real life.


Would you rather write without using punctuation and capitalization or without using words that contained the letter E?

writing without punctuation and capitalization is fun it flows it feels good its like glossolalia i could do it all day but writing without that particular typographic symbol? No sir, that sounds most clumsy and painful and arbitrarily arduous.


Would you rather have schools teach your book or ban your book?

I’d rather live in a world where books are not banned, no matter how controversial they may be.


Would you rather be forced to listen to Ayn Rand bloviate for an hour or be hit on by an angry Dylan Thomas?

Ayn Rand died in 1982, before portable music players were widely known, so I could probably put in some earbuds, tell her they are hearing aids so that I can listen to her even more attentively, and then bliss out to some Brian Eno ambient music on my iPod while she bloviates away.


Would you rather be reduced to speaking only in haiku or be capable of only writing in haiku?

I generally prefer writing to speaking, so please apply any required handicaps to my speech and leave my writing alone.


Would you rather be stuck on an island with only the 50 Shades Series or a series in a language you couldn’t read?

I can't read the language 50 Shades is written in either, so both options are going to end up as campfire kindling.

Would you rather critics rip your book apart publicly or never talk about it at all?

I’ve already experienced being critically ignored, and it was pretty depressing. If critics are ripping me apart, at least that means I’m successful enough to merit attacks.


Would you rather have everything you think automatically appear on your Twitter feed or have a voice in your head narrate your every move?

I definitely, definitely do not want my private thoughts escaping my head, so whatever option keeps them silent.


Would you rather give up your computer or pens and paper?

If I was writing these answers with a pen and paper, they would look like this.

Tongue.
Not sure.
Well known now.
Conjunctions?

And so on. I can’t write with pens. Don’t touch my laptop.


Would you rather write an entire novel standing on your tippy-toes or laying down flat on your back? 

One is physically impossible, the other sounds pretty relaxing. Kind of a no-brainer.


Would you rather read naked in front of a packed room or have no one show up to your reading?

Being naked in a packed room sounds like a scenario with a lot of potential...


Would you rather read a book that is written poorly but has an excellent story, or read one with weak content but is written well? 


Ugh, you saved the hardest question for last. I hate both kinds of books equally. It’s almost a precise 50/50 for me. I guess if I absolutely had to choose, I’d take the well-written weak story because even if it’s boring and pointless, at least I could learn something from the prose craft.

And here is Isaac's response to Jayme K's question from last week:

Would you rather be forced to kill off the main character’s pet or child when writing a novel?

This may be the first time I've said these words in this sequence: I'd much rather kill a child. Unless the pet is a major part of the story and integral to the character's personality, killing a pet usually feels like a cheap emotion-squeezing tactic. It's just way too easy.

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Issac deferred his additional question to me, so 

check back next week to see how A Lee Martinez answers:

Would you rather write a novel that changes someone's life but receives no mainstream attention, or a novel that is incredibly successful in sales but that no one thinks about afterwards?

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Isaac Marion was born near Seattle in 1981 and has lived in and around that city ever since. Deciding to forgo college in favor of direct experience, he dived into writing while still in high school and self-published three terrible novels before finally hitting his stride with Warm Bodies, his first published work. He currently splits his time between writing in Seattle and hunting inspiration on cross-country RV trips.

Eat Like an Author: Bradley J Milton

When most people get bored, they eat. When I get bored, I brainstorm new series and features for the blog, and THEN eat. And not too long ago, as I was brainstorming and contemplating what I wanted to eat, I thought how cool it would be to have a mini-foodie series where authors share the things they like to eat. Photos and recipes and all. And so I asked them, and amazingly they responded, and I dubbed it EAT LIKE AN AUTHOR. 


Last week, Lavinia Ludlow showed off her sugar snacks.


Today, Bradley J Milton gets his chex on:

Rice and Corn Chex

Writing is hard work. Needs energy. In this way it is just like Programming. Both at the Computer. So when I am Writing or Programming, I need something to give me energy to allow me to stay at the Computer. For this, I have a special recipe. It's a Chex Mix For Writers and Programmers. Here 'tis:

1 box Chex cereal (Rice flavor)
1 box Chex cereal (Corn flavor)
1 can Party Nuts (generic OK)
1 small bag tiny pretzels
1 small bag Cheetos
1 small bag Fritos
6 Tablespoons margarine (Blue Bonnet, etc)
2 Tablespoons Worstershire sauce
1.5 Teaspoons Lawry's salt
1 Teaspoon garlic powder
.5 Teaspoon onion powder


Get a big bowl. Mix up the cereals, nuts, pretzels, and chips. Use platic tongs. Make sure bowl is not made of metal. Now in small container microwave the margarine until it's all melted (usually under a minute); careful not to splash. Take out and add all seasonings. Mix well with teaspoon or tablespoon. Pour over the mix in the big bowl. Now pick up tongs again and mix, mix, mix. Place big bowl in microwave and Nuke for 2 minutes. Take out and mix, mix, mix. Nuke again for 2 minutes. Mix, mix, mix. Nuke one last time (2 minutes). Take out, dump whole bowl on cookie sheets or wax paper (you chose). When cool, place in nice plastic tubs or containers you reuse from other things (margarine tub, pretzel jugs, Pringles, etc). Keep containers handy near the Computer for snack to keep going, late night or anytime. YUM!


Put in cereal bowls for Party (Holidaze, etc).

Also, some good sample Containers to keep it in:

Good for near Computer, in Kitchen, around the house, etc. Bring it to work for Lunch/Snack. Lots of good ideas. Be creative!

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Bradley J Milton: Business Executive, Originator of Occupy Wall St (aka Generation SHOP), author of experimental psychedelic cut-up computerized pop culture fiction.

The Audio Series: Meera Lee Sethi

Our audio series "The Authors Read. We Listen." is an incredibly special one for us. Hatched in a NYC club during BEA week, this feature requires more work of the author than any of the ones that have come before. And that makes it all the more sweeter when you see, or rather, hear them read excerpts from their own novels, in their own voices, the way their stories were meant to be heard.


Today, to celebrate Day 6 of the Mountainfit Blog Tour, hosted by CCLaP (and organized by moi), Meera Lee Sethi will be reading an excerpt from her book. Meera is a curious human being about whom you already know too much. In 1998 Meera moved from Singapore to the U.S. and began falling in love with science slowly and inconveniently, while earning degrees in the humanities. Any errors of fact or judgment here were committed by her; any beauty has been borrowed from the people, land, and birds of Sweden. Her current internet incarnation is under construction, but many previous versions of her are still online for the finding.

Click on the soundcloud link to experience Mountainfit as read by Meera:






The word on Mountainfit:

In 2011, a tiny bird observatory in far western Sweden found itself hosting its first American volunteer, and Meera Lee Sethi found herself exactly where she wanted to be: watching great snipe court each other under the midnight sun and disturbing lemmings on her way to find a gyrfalcon nest. Mountainfit is an ecological field notebook, a keenly observed natural history of the life that sings from the birches, wheels under the clouds, and scuttles over the peat bogs of the Swedish highlands. And it is a letter, in 21 jewel-like parts, from a well-read and funny friend. Meera’s vigorous, graceful prose communicates a wry understanding of how utterly ordinary it is to long for more out of life—and how extraordinary it can feel to trust that longing. Meera's intent was to create a book small enough to fit in your pocket and read on the train to work in the morning. It is that. But it's also large enough to contain a mountain or two.
*lifted with love from Goodreads

Indie Spotlight: Banango Lit

A few weeks ago, as I was searching the internet for places to pitch the books I work with, falling down the rabbit hole of blogger and lit journal's sidebar link after sidebar link after sidebar link... I happily stumbled across Banango Lit. A fairly young literary blog, and even younger lit journal, Banango's got their sight set on the future of literature, and I eagerly await the awesomeness to come.

Check out this guest post by co-creator Rachel Hyman, as she gives you the Banango backstory from birth to baby steps to the next big bite:

The Birth of a Lit Journal

I like to think of Banango as a seed. A seed that has germinated over time, flowered and borne fruit we couldn’t even envision when we planted the thing. This metaphor is probably bad; Banango is better.

In the beginning, there was Banango Lit. The blog was first birthed in early summer 2011, long before Justin Carter and I ever met in person. We first came into contact as editors on the Poetry by Emily Dickinson project that Steve Roggenbuck had started. We liked what each other were doing, shared a bunch of interests around contemporary lit and poetry, and started the blog as a fun project to encourage our own critical thinking around those same topics. One of my first posts defended the artistic legitimacy of flarf as a poetic method; one of Justin’s first posts was about Steve himself, actually.


Reading backwards, the shroud of inevitability covers everything that followed. Both Justin and I found our place in online (and IRL) literature communities. We kept blogging, reviewing things that we liked and that people sent us. We interviewed people. We brought on other writers, like Diana Salier, Matt Margo, Jackson Niuewland, Wallace Barker. I appreciated (and still do) having a space for critical inquiry on my own terms. That’s been one of the best parts of everything Banango: it’s self-led, and I do it because I love it. Not because I’m obliged to.

Sometime in winter 2012, we got the idea to expand our online presence to a lit journal, Banango Street. It just seemed like a logical step after doing the blog and learning more about the type of creative work that Justin and I are drawn to. We still struggle to define it, but Justin and I are very aligned in our aesthetic preferences. I think the best Banango Street poems (and stories) create atmospheres unto themselves. They’re poems that break us (and themselves) in interesting ways; that take dives from the highboard and then try to jump back upwards and fall into the water at the same time.

The first Banango Street issue, we published a lot of our friends, which is expected. That’s who we knew at the time. We’ve released five issues now; with each successive one, there are fewer and fewer contributors I can tag on Facebook, which I take as a good sign. We believe we’ve made strides in the caliber of work we’re publishing. And I love the chance to showcase art on the cover and interior, and now within the issues themselves. Banango Lit has been around for longer, and it’s definitely my baby, but I feel really proud of what we’ve done with Banango Street in its short lifetime. Justin and I have a lot of ambitions for what we want to do with the journal.

And then that brings us to the third expansion in the Banango brand. Starting in 2014, we’re going to publish echapbooks (tentative name: Banango Editions). It makes a lot of sense as a next step: we know what we like, we know good people, we’ve build up an audience who trusts our ability to put out good material, and this allows us to expand the scope of what we do. I’m excited for the chance to get out longer works to people.

So in the end, Banango is a lot of things: a brand, a platform, a community, an empire (on good days), and a bunch of people who are passionate about all things lit. Keep an eye out for Banango developments on Facebook and Twitter. We’re always looking for more reviewers and contributors for the blog, so shoot us an email at banangolit@gmail.comif you’d like to get involved! 

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Rachel Hyman was born in Chicago and currently resides in Detroit. She is the head editor of Anthology of Chicago and co-editor of Banango Street. Rachel is the author of two chapbooks, Such Phantom and Until All The Blues And Greens Reveal Themselves Each Dawn (NAP). Other writing has been published in Red Lightbulbs, Untoward, the Rumpus, and HTMLGIANT.

Jeremy C. Shipp: 5 Question Blog Tour

I'm always game for a little blog tour action so when I saw Jeremy C. Shipp's request to take part in his, I couldn't pass it up. He was looking for people to ask him 5 questions, and I knew we could have some fun with it, especially since I had 20 doozies as part of the Would You Rather series.

This Bram Stoker Award nominated author dabbles in bizarre fiction, creates adorable plushie monsters, and tweets about attic clowns and yard gnomes.

Back in 2010, I reviewed Jeremy's Cursed, a cute bizarro tale that I recommend as an intro for anyone who is considering giving the genre a go, and for those who like their horror without all the scream but with plenty of creep.

Without further ado, the 5 questions:

1. Would you rather have one giant bestseller or a long string of moderate sellers?

Much like my cats, I would prefer a long string. I don't really see myself as a mainstream writer. I have a cult following of sorts, and I like it that way.

2. Would you rather write a book without using conjunctions or have every sentence of your book begin with one?

A book without conjunctions wouldn't be so bad, especially if my POV character were a robot or a snobbish talking parsnip. Snobbish talking parsnips never use conjunctions.

3. Would you rather have everything you think automatically appear on your Twitter feed or have a voice in your head narrate your every move?

Both of these things already happen.

4. Would you rather read naked in front of a packed room or have no one show up to your reading?

During the naked reading, can I still wear a top hat? I feel a bit vulnerable when I'm not wearing my top hat. Yeah, I'll do the naked reading. I always read naked anyway. Doesn't everyone?

5. Would you rather write a plot twist you hated or write a character you hated?

I'd choose the latter. Many of my characters are assholes who I would hate to interact with in real life. But they're still fun to write.  

Jayme K's Would You Rather

Bored with the same old fashioned author interviews you see all around the blogosphere? Well, TNBBC's newest series is a fun, new, literary spin on the ole Would You Rather game. Get to know the authors we love to read in ways no other interviewer has. I've asked them to pick sides against the same 20 odd bookish scenarios. And just to spice it up a bit, each author gets to ask their own Would You Rather question to the author who appears after them....

Jayme K's

Would You Rather

Would you rather write an entire book with your feet or with your tongue?

My tongue—I feel like that would be far more impressive.

Would you rather have one giant bestseller or a long string of moderate sellers?

A long string of moderate sellers. Having a bestselling novel doesn’t mean shit nowadays. Snooki had a bestseller. Consistency, to an extent, shows value.

Would you rather be a well known author now or be considered a literary genius after you’re dead?

A well-known author now. What’s the point of being considered a genius if you can't be around to celebrate it?

Would you rather write a book without using conjunctions or have every sentence of your book begin with one?

Christ… Probably the latter.

Would you rather have every word of your favorite novel tattooed on your skin or always playing as an audio in the background for the rest of your life?

Well, Stephen King’s ITcontains well over 5 million words—so I’m going to have to go with the second option.

Would you rather write a book you truly believe in and have no one read it or write a crappy book that comprises everything you believe in and have it become an overnight success?

That’s a very good question. As much as I believe that writing for one’s self should come first and foremost, I think I would have to go with the ‘overnight success’, if only because that could lead to greater opportunities and would simultaneously prop me up a soapbox that I could use to denounce the book as trash.

Would you rather write a plot twist you hated or write a character you hated?

A character I hated. You can kill a character off or, if you’re more generous, make them redeemable.

Would you rather use your skin as paper or your blood as ink?

Blood freaks me out. Even though I’d run out of room quickly, I’d rather use my skin as paper.

Would you rather become a character in your novel or have your characters escape the page and reenact the novel in real life?

That’s catch 22, isn’t it? The characters I generally write about tend to be horrible people. In the case of Disorderly, I’m either damning myself to cannibalism or allowing my lead character to kill and eat people in the real world. I’d rather not be the perpetrator, so I’ll go with the second one.

Would you rather write without using punctuation and capitalization or without using words that contained the letter E?

I’d nix punctuation and capitalization.

Would you rather have schools teach your book or ban your book?

I’d like my book to be handed out in kindergarten classrooms across the country.

Would you rather be forced to listen to Ayn Rand bloviate for an hour or be hit on by an angry Dylan Thomas?

I stand with Rand.

Would you rather be reduced to speaking only in haiku or be capable of only writing in haiku?

Speaking in haiku—the latter would royally fuck up my career path.

Would you rather be stuck on an island with only the 50 Shades Series or a series in a language you couldn’t read?

If I were stuck on an island with the 50 Shades series as my only reading material, I’d likely become depressed and possibly suicidal. I’ll take Russian, Turkish, Bolivian—anything. Hand me a German encyclopedia. The 50 Shades books would be the last thing on my list.

Would you rather critics rip your book apart publically or never talk about it at all?

Literary criticism is a weird thing to me. It’s one thing to not like a book due to its content, but entirely something else to tear it apart—especially in the case novels. It’s just too vast to properly critique without inserting personal bias. In this instance, better negative than non-existent.

Would you rather have everything you think automatically appear on your Twitter feed or have a voice in your head narrate your every move?

Easily, an internal narrator. Who would ever want to be that exposed?

Would you rather give up your computer or pens and paper?

Pen and paper. Although giving up the computer might be better for my health.

Would you rather write an entire novel standing on your tippy-toes or laying down flat on your back?

Hm, I’m going to say laying down flat on my back. I would at least be able to prop my laptop up on my chest that way.

Would you rather read naked in front of a packed room or have no one show up to your reading?

Both sound like an absolute nightmare, but given the fact that I’m an attention whore—I’ll go with the first option.

Would you rather read a book that is written poorly but has an excellent story, or read one with weak content but is written well? 

The former. To put it in cinematic terms, you can only watch so much of Barry Lyndon before you find yourself questioning if it’s even worth the time to finish.

And now see Jayme's answer to Lavinia's question from last week:

Would you rather draft work in a busy bustling cafe with lots of chaos to draw inspiration from or would you rather be isolated in a log cabin with no interruptions at all?

I would much rather be isolated. For the life of me, I can't concentrate at all in a cluttered or noisy environment.

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Check back next week to see what Isaac Marion would rather, 

and see his answer to Jayme's question:

Would you rather be forced to kill off the main character’s pet or child when writing a novel?

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Jayme K. is the author of the novel Disorderly, as well as numerous short stories, essays, and poems. His work has been published by UnHollywood, Before Sunrise Press, Underground Books, Miracle E-zine, Nostrovia! Poetry, Your Daily Subvert, Moon Project, and Flash Fiction 365. He lives in Boston.

Eat Like an Author: Lavinia Ludlow

When most people get bored, they eat. When I get bored, I brainstorm new series and features for the blog, and THEN eat. And not too long ago, as I was brainstorming and contemplating what I wanted to eat, I thought how cool it would be to have a mini-foodie series where authors share the things they like to eat. Photos and recipes and all. And so I asked them, and amazingly they responded, and I dubbed it EAT LIKE AN AUTHOR. 

Last week, we debuted a recipe from Nick Antosca.


This week, Lavinia Ludlow is dead set on covering all of her bases.

Laphroaig Cask Strength, served neat

Sure it’s about double the price of ordinary 10-year, but during those early wintery/springy/summary/fall-y mornings when you just need something to entice you out of bed to hit the computer/typewriter/tablet/what-have-you, Laphroaig Cask Strength scotch really gets the creative juices pumping.

Block of raw Ramen and accompanying meat-flavored seasoning packet 

When you just don’t have the time to step away from your writing binge but you need sustenance, break open a packet of Ramen and season to taste. Works great when you’re traveling and you have no access to a stove, microwave, or source of water. Finish off with a Gu packet to keep you powering through those all-day drafting sessions.

Candy and Red Bull 

Make every day Halloween by keeping mountains of assorted candy readily available. Makes a great distraction from those frustrating writer’s block lulls. Stock your fridge with a case of Red Bull for an extra sugar and caffeinated kick in the ass to get your writing back on track. 

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Lavinia Ludlow is a musician, writer, and occasional contortionist. Her debut novel alt.punk can be purchased through major online retailers as well as Casperian Books’ website. Recently, her sophomore novel Single Stroke Seven was signed to Casperian Books as well. In her free time, she reviews independent literature over at places such as Small Press Reviews, The Nervous Breakdown, American Book Review, and Plumb Blog. She hearts all indie writers, musicians, and artists and hopes you do too.

CCLaP: Four Sparks Fall

You know what day it is?

It's four sparks fall release day!

Today marks the birth of another CCLaP title. This one, a debut by Florida author T.A. Noonan, is a special one for us. Our first Adult/YA crossover title with an experimental format to boot, readers young and old can count on finding something to take away with them.

Sixteen-year-old May Florence is a budding poet who is about to join Louisiana's most elite boarding school. Her brilliant but reserved twin sister, Susanna, isn't. But the truth is, they've been drifting apart for some time, their relationship barely sustained by shared friendships and mutual envy. Now, as Susanna watches May prepare to leave her behind, she must reconcile what she thinks she knows about herself and her sister with the secrets they've been keeping from one another -- or risk losing her closest friend forever. four sparks fall is the story of two young adults searching for love and acceptance in Baton Rouge, a city as complex as the people who inhabit it. At once confessional and speculative, analytical and numinous, T.A. Noonan's debut novella is an affecting coming-of-age story for readers of all ages. 

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four sparks fall is the kind of book you can gulp down in one sitting:

Just ask Kate, who found it very hard to walk away from it while reading. 

Or Tanya, of Book Loving Hippo, who raves about how well written it is.

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While not usually a fan of side-by-side alternate narratives, Noonan smoothly flows between the unique dialogues of Susanna and May while weaving in journal entries that help to shed some light on the tension that has built up between the sisters. four sparks fall deals with very real teenage issues - sexuality, body image, and deep dark secrets - in a very adult way. 

You can now purchase a lovely, hand-made hard edition of four sparks fall on CCLaP's website. (or download a free PDF there for review, too.)

If you thought you weren't a fan of YA fiction, think again.