Author Lauren Becker released a collection of flash fiction with Curbside Splendor last month. It's called If I Would Leave Myself Behind, and today she appears on the blog with an essay on the origins of those stories.
It's always interesting to me to hear how the content of an author's stories came about... what inspired them to write it, where were they when it all came gushing out, how long did it take to get it all down, how much of it is autobiographical....
In Lauren's essay, she answers those questions, and more.....
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I tried to write about the origins of the book, but it didn't originate so much as generate. The stories were written at different times, over the course of five or six years, so, really, the only thing that provides a starting point is me.
I usually find or hear or come up with a sentence and then write the story, not knowing where it will go. Sometimes I have an idea of where it will go, but I let thing unwind, and the ones that are my favorites are the ones that take me places that weren't the destination at all, and I know where they end, usually with certainty, which is kind of weird, but I like it.

The title story to the book, which became part of the novella, pretty much wrote itself. It's about visiting Austin from Oakland , and being more comfortable and feeling more safe, and imagining what it would be like to live in Austin . Whether I would leave some things I didn't want. And I knew that I wouldn't. And I moved here two months ago, and, I have to say, it's been a bumpy transition, and, though I like it here, I have, at times, been disappointed by my own responses to situations that feel familiar, but not in a good way. How they are the same as before, and I realize that part of me really did believe I could leave myself behind and become this totally new person. And how most of me feels good about having made the move at all. The story is prescient in a way. I did not expect to live here in Austin when the book came out. I don't know how else to say it, but this story guides me. Not toward disappointment, but toward possibility.
There are other stories in the book that were born of moments or days or insistent memories. And there are some that come from random newspaper articles or sentences overheard in bars or on public transportation. Or of things I “stole” from other people, telling them I would use them if they didn’t.

Above all, writing is a source of healing or comfort to me. As a joke, I considered dedicating the book to me. And I never really thought about it, but maybe, above all, the stories in the book do honor their own origins. And maybe the acknowledgement of self – for any writer – is not so much as a joke as it is truth.
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Lauren Becker lives in Northern California, where she works in health care policy and advocacy. She is editor of Corium Magazine.
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